Saturday, May 8, 2010

# Dreamland

Under the Crescent Moon (1)

Inspired by a friend...


I looked at her and secretly smiled. There she goes again, doodling while biting her lips. I watched as she tucked her hair behind her ears and looked down at the paper she was writing on.  To others who would look at her, it would appear that she was not listening to what her boss was demonstrating. But i know, just by looking at her, that she was in deep concentration. It was in the way she bit her lips, how her forehead creased in the middle, and the way she tucked her hair just so...Yes, she was definitely thinking about the work at hand. 

She suddenly looked up and saw me looking at her. I smiled and looked away, but not before I saw her smile back. I turned to my mac, not at all guilty that she caught me looking at her, again. 

It was difficult what Regan and I had. Friendship, yet more than that. But all we had really was just talk. Yet she made me feel alive. More alive than I ever felt for the past 10 years. 

My reverie was cut short when a message popped up on my laptop, "John, the usual later?", it was Regan. And the usual was her term for our long walk to the train station before we go our separate stops. "If you want to", I typed back. "It's settled then" and she punctuated her answer with a smiling emoticon. 

Yes, it was settled. It had been like that for a couple of years now. We waited for each other, then the long walk from the office to the mall, before we reach the train station. Along the way, we passed by stores and discussed whatever caught our attention at the time. 

I finished the work at hand, then attended to my meetings. There was a lightness on my step. I guessed there always had been. Ever since she arrived and we discovered each other. The day passed by quickly. I guess it always does especially during work days when I had something to look forward to. Before long I was shutting down my computer and she was in the lobby, waiting. 

When she saw me, she smiled and turned to walk, waving goodbye to our other office mates. They shouted a greeting at me and I waved back as I fell into step with Regan. We were quiet but it did not bother me. The quiet was soothing. And before long, the conversation started. 

That was when my world... our world stopped. When Regan and I had this special place, in the midst of the other people walking hastily, we slowed down. We savored the sites, the talk, the quiet, being together. 

I knew I love her and she knew it too. But we never talked about it. But it was there. And i knew she felt the same way. How can she not, when she is here? Everyday for the past 2 years?

She was everything I thought I would never find. So I stayed and endured our walks and our talks -- when she was so near yet we remained apart. I wondered how this could go on.  Perhaps I should tell her. One day, when I get the courage. But not right now. 

The train stopped and my station was announced. I carried my backpack and waved goodbye to Regan. "Tomorrow?" I asked and she answered "Sure, always", her eyes twinkling. I laughed and went out the train. I looked back and she was still smiling at me as the doors closed. 

Yes, tomorrow again. And always after that. Soon I will tell her. 

Written last April 17, 2010

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