I Care for My Own

I received a text today.


It was totally unexpected.


My daughter has a regular schedule for staying with family. 
With no family of our own on this side of the world, I leaned on the ones I had. 
This time though they are saying no.
I understand. 

I get it.


But I got hurt anyway.

There were paragraphs of explanations. 

But the only thing that stood out was "no." 

The paragraphs got blurred. It felt like a jumble of words I couldn't understand. 

I had to re-read it several times.
So I agreed to their no.

I felt like they said no to something bigger. 

No to years. 

No to the past.


Irrational, I know. 

I'm not supposed to feel that.


But I felt it anyway.

I tried to understand. 

I really did. 

I even agreed with them.


I understand the situation and the circumstances.


But somehow everything sounded like a rejection.

And then it reminded me.


I shouldn't expect.


What I give is not always returned. 

Different people, different return.


I thought I'd earned a place in that word — family. 

Maybe I was wrong. 

Or maybe I was just treated like I was.


If I look, it doesn't mean they return my gaze.

And somehow, that simple text changed me.


It changed how I view others.


It changed how I view the world, and my season around it.

My family is my responsibility.
I care for my own.